Dan Neil is an LA Times automotive columnist. On Friday, September 19th, 2008, in the Business (C) section the Times published his review of the new Cadillac CTS-V. The excerpt on the front page and the rest of the article (page 5) are a flurry of praise for the brilliant car and the amazing job GM did with it. It’s a reasonably interesting article and I personally found nothing objectionable…
…Right up until the second to last paragraph:
Go ahead, park the CTS-V next to a BMW M3. The BMW looks like it should be delivering dairy products.
Alright, then. Let’s have a look at the Cadillac CTS-V.
Now, I will concede that the new CTS-V looks good. Hell, it looks great. It’s mean, aggressive, and angry. Certainly the best looking Caddy in a long, long while. Couple that with what is supposedly a fantastic drive, and it’s an impressive package from a troubled brand.
Now, let’s have a look at the BMW M3 in sedan, coupe, and convertible form.
A milkman’s car? Seriously?
As a matter of full disclosure, I’ll admit that the only badge I like as much as BMW’s is that of Porsche, so I am naturally biased towards the M3 as my second-favorite car ever (after the Porsche 911 Turbo). However, I should note that I think the previous generation (E46) had a certain air of elegance that the new ones simply don’t. The new ones just aren’t as understated as I’d like them to be, but that’s a story for some other time. Back to Dan Neil for now.
I respect that Mr. Neil, born and raised in the US, has his own set of preferences. Cadillac is one of those very American brands, a badge which has always been a part of America’s historied automotive heritage, and I completely understand why he might favor the CTS-V over the M3 in this case.
My issue with the statement isn’t how much better looking he thinks the CTS-V is than the M3 - it’s that he thinks the M3 looks like a milk delivery car. Not only do I find this offensive (even if I’m not taking it all too seriously), but it’s simply silly. Is it possible that this man is so blind as to consider the new M3 that hideous? To be fair, I doubt he’d really expect to see a milkman in an M3 considering the price tag, but still.
I suppose I should now calm down and stop thinking that Dan Neil actually considers the M3 to be a milkman’s car. After all, I’m personally more interested as to why he thinks it’s so damn good looking, but I couldn’t find it anywhere in the article. Will the world ever know?
Perhaps Dan Neil is simply used to unfinished designs. Cadillac has for a while now had a penchant for making cars designed with only a ruler, and about the only exterior curves you can find on an average Caddy these days are the wheels and tires. That’s not necessarily a problem, as they’ve proven with the new CTS-V. It’s a good looking car even if it’s sharper than a razorblade, but there is little epic about the design of this beast.
It did take me two tries, but I think I’ve found the answer. There’s a paragraph in the article that perhaps offers a clue as to why Mr. Neil so strongly prefers a moving brick over an actually designed car:
Now, it’s no surprise that GM could throw enough brains and bucks at this project to make a world-class sports sedan. What is surprising is that the package is so refined and seductive.
Ah, yes, there it is. Dan Neil’s idea of “refined and seductive” is one of the angriest, manliest, and most savage looking cars of the 21st century, complete with ungodly quads, chest hair, and loud noises.
Perhaps Dan Neil just likes macho men?